Miscarriage

Sometimes a pregnancy ends differently than you had hoped for or expected. Twenty percent of all pregnant women experience vaginal bleeding in the first 16 weeks of their pregnancy. Ultimately, 10 percent of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage. For the other 10 percent of women who experience blood loss during their pregnancy, the bleeding has no significance.

The higher the age of the mother, the greater the risk of a miscarriage. Signs of a miscarriage are usually vaginal bleeding and abdominal pain. These symptoms can intensify during a miscarriage and lessen after the embryo has been disposed of. Obviously, intense abdominal pain and excessive blood loss are a good reason to call the emergency telephone number. If you have a little blood loss, you can call us during office hours.

A miscarriage is a natural, but intense experience. Sadness and disappointment are a natural and logical response. Obviously, we will be there for you during this difficult time.

A miscarriage has an emotional impact

Many women experience a difficult time after a miscarriage. A miscarriage often has more impact than you could have imagined beforehand. We know this applies to women but also to their partners.

For instance, a consequence of the miscarriage is that your future will be different than you had expected. Losing a child abrubtly brings an end to all plans and fantasies about this child.

Perhaps you wonder what went wrong. It might comfort you to know that pregnancies that end in a miscarriage are usually pregnancies in which something was wrong from the start. This implies that the miscarriage was a natural and logical event. However, despite this factual explanation, you might think that you could have done something to prevent the miscarriage. However understandable, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty.

Also good to know: nobody can tell you when to stop grieving. Everybody experiences a miscarriage differently. Everybody grieves differently. Give yourself the time you need.

Have you noticed that you have been low on energy for a long time? Or that you keep worrying? Find help to cope with the loss of your child. This is something you need to deal with. Find treatment that suits you.

Please visit the website www.miskraambegeleiding.nl  for free practical tools, including:

  • A checklist to determine whether your health issues are the result of the miscarriage.
  • Tips and a practical step-by-step plan to tell your living child(ren) about the miscarriage.
  • Suggestions on how to have a good conversation with your partner about this topic.
  • And many stories told from experience by women who have had one of more miscarriages.

Miscarriage (In Dutch)

Information brochure from KNOV

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A miscarriages, now what? (In Dutch)

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How to deal with the grief of a miscarriage?

  • Take your feelings seriously. Allow yourself to feel: sad, guilty, angry. It is all right to miss your baby, to be in denial or to feel empty. Maybe you are at peace with the miscarriage; maybe you even feel relief. Everything is possible. Nothing is strange.
  • Talk about it. Maybe to a friend, your partner, your sister or a neighbor. Or to parents who have been through the same. You are also welcome at the the practice.
  • Know that your partner deals with the grief of the miscarriage differently than you do. That is normal. It could be very valuable for you to talk about it, with each other and with other people.
  • Do what feels good for you. At a moment that feels right. Put a nice statuette in your closet. Plant a tree in your garden. Pick a piece of jewelry as a reminder of your baby. Write a letter to your unborn child. Or do something completely different, but pick something that suits you and/or your partner.
  • Read about it. Write about it. Closed groups exist on Facebook, where you can describe your experiences.
  • Tell your living child(ren) about the miscarriage. There are, for instance, some nice picture books to read with young children.
KNOV verloskundige